


It's Not Worth It

by DeansDirtyLittleSecret



Series: Professor Dean Winchester AU [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Professor Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 14:11:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5166767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansDirtyLittleSecret/pseuds/DeansDirtyLittleSecret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor Winchester has some decisions to make, as does the reader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Installment is in two points of view, yours and Professor Winchester's.

If you were going to have a fight, it might as well be a knock down, drag out, screaming match. Which was exactly the kind of fight you and Dean had just had.

“Thank you Dick Roman,” you muttered under your breath as you slammed your car door hard enough to make your windows rattle. You wiped at the tears rolling down your face, sniffling as you started the car.

You thought you’d resigned yourself to the fact that Dean was going to Venice, that he was going to explore this job opportunity, figure out if he was really and truly interested in it. But then he’d started talking about the trip as the two of you sat eating breakfast and you’d lost it. You’d screamed and cried, he’d sat on the couch, his fists balled on his thighs, jaw clenched, not saying a word until you’d stopped talking.

“Are you finished?” he’d asked when you’d finally tapered off.

When you’d opened your mouth to say more, he’d stood up, towering over you. “It’s my turn to talk,” he’d said. “I know you don’t like this, Y/N. I know you wish I wasn’t going to Venice, that I wasn’t going to accept the job offer. But I am going to Venice and chances are, I am going to take the job. There isn’t anything else to discuss.”

But that hadn’t been the end of it. In fact, it had only been the beginning. Almost an hour later, you’d left, slamming the door behind you.  You’d been crying, your voice hoarse from yelling, your head pounding and you were still angry. Nothing had been resolved; neither of you were giving an inch.

You sat in your car for a few minutes, head back against the seat, eyes closed. You were already late for your first class. But at this point, you just didn’t give a shit. Screw going to school, you were going back to your dorm, burrowing under your covers and hiding all day.

* * *

I knocked lightly before pushing open Sam’s office door. He was kneeling on the floor behind his desk, stacking papers. His usually neat desk was a mess, everything pushed out of their normally straight lines, off to one side.

“What the hell happened in here?” I asked.

He rose to his feet, pushing his hair out of his face, papers in his hand. He had a sheepish grin on his face, one I recognized almost immediately.

“What did you do?” I narrowed my eyes, examining him closely.

Sam shrugged and gave me that goofy upside down smile of his. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied.

“Uh huh,” I chuckled. “That’s why your shirt is partially untucked and your desk is a mess.” I noticed the engagement ring he’d given Cara sitting in a candy dish on his desk. I picked it up, twirling it around my pinky finger. “And you smell like sex.”

Sam burst out laughing, shaking his head. “Dude, I do not smell like sex,” he grinned, dropping the papers to his desk and hurrying to tuck in his shirt. “By the way, would you make that disappear please?” He pointed to the ring in my hand.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah, I don’t want it around,” he shrugged. “Too many memories.”

I tucked the ring in the front pocket of my jeans. “Done,” I said. “Now, back to what happened in here.” I raised an eyebrow and waited for an answer.

Sam’s smile grew wider, making the dimples on his face more prominent. “The um, waitress from the bar -”

“Really?” I said, grabbing the chair by the wall, turning it around and sitting on it, leaning on the back. “Spill your guts. I thought she blew you off the other night, basically told you to get bent.”

Sam shot me an irritated look. “Miscommunication,” he explained. “Just...it’s a long story. But she came to see me and we...um…I’m taking her out, on a date.”

It was good to see him smile. “Doing things a little backwards, are we?” I teased. “I guess -”

“Enough about me, Dean. You’re deflecting again,” Sam interrupted. “You sounded pissed when you called. Pissed and upset. What’s wrong?”

I never could fool Sam. He just sat staring at me, waiting, patient as always. That was something I’d always envied about him, his ability to wait things out, to take his time. I was actually surprised at his relationship with the waitress from the bar for just that reason, he was usually more cautious. He’d had his fair share of one night stands, we both had, but when it came to something serious, he was a bit more careful. He was jumping into this with both feet and frankly, it was a bit shocking.

“Dean?” Sam snapped, tapping his knuckles on his desk. “You didn’t call me because everything was wonderful. For Christ’s sake, talk to me.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I...uh, had a fight with Y/N. About the job offer and the trip to Venice.”

“Wait, what?” Sam muttered. “She’s upset about you getting an offer from a billionaire to do what you love and get paid handsomely for it?”

“It’s more than that,” I sighed. “It’s the prospect of our relationship changing. And she thinks that the offer is too good to be true. Which it probably is.”

“Dean, come on,” Sam shook his head. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

“I need to believe that it’s a dream come true, you know?” Now that the floodgates had opened, I couldn’t stop. “For once in my life, it would be nice if things went my way. You know, I get the girl, get the job, live the dream.” I closed my eyes, shaking my head at the shittiness of the situation.

“I know,” Sam said quietly. “I understand.”

It was true, if anybody understood, it was Sam. He’d been my best friend since high school, he’d been there when my father died, when I broke up with my high school girlfriend, when I decided to become a teacher, when Bela screwed me over, every step of the way Sam had been there supporting me. He knew every struggle I’d gone through the last ten years and he’d been my friend through it all.

“I told you I felt a sense of impending doom,” I shrugged, attempting a smile.

Sam chuckled quietly. “Yeah,” he said. He sat quietly for a few minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts. “What are you going to do?” he finally asked.

I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck. “I don’t know, Sam,” I replied. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you’re not alone. You’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out,” Sam said. “We always do.”

* * *

You hated silence, especially the silence of your cell phone. You’d hoped Dean would call or text, but the entire day had gone by and your phone had sat on the desk, quiet.

You had no interest in being around other people, no interest in making small talk that bored you, so you stayed in. You tried to study, watched random movies on Netflix, took a nap, read the newest J.R. Ward book and ordered a pizza. Nothing took your mind off of the fight with Dean, though.

A hundred times you picked up your keys, ready to go apologize. You knew you were being selfish, even unreasonable, but when it came to Dean, you didn’t always think straight. The only thing you could seem to focus on was the fact that he might leave you, move so far away that there was no way you could possibly maintain a relationship. You couldn’t lose him. You were already counting the days until you graduated and your relationship could be a real relationship, one that didn’t have to be kept hidden behind closed doors. Maybe a normal couple could survive a long distance relationship, but the two of you were anything but normal.

You’d been roaming your tiny dorm room for nearly an hour, in and out of the bedroom, around the tiny living room and back to the bedroom, needing to move, to think. Dean was supposed to leave the day after tomorrow for Venice. You couldn’t let him leave thinking that you were angry with him, it might push him into taking the job before really thinking it through. You needed to talk to him.

* * *

I pushed through the heavy glass doors of the five story building on the outskirts of town. The lobby was empty, which was no surprise, it was after office hours and I had arrived earlier than I’d intended, having come directly from my last class. I took a seat on a small sofa opposite a huge window. The sun was down and the stars were bright in the night sky, sparkling like small diamonds. Not a bad view, one I might actually enjoy if I hadn’t been a bundle of guilt and confusion.

Sam and I had talked for nearly an hour. Sam, as always, had been the voice of reason when I couldn’t seem to think straight. He’d convinced me to talk to Dick, see if I could work something out so I didn’t have to leave Y/N. We hadn’t come to any definitive conclusions and I hadn’t made a concrete decision. All I knew was that I couldn’t leave Y/N.

“Professor Winchester?” a hesitant voice murmured from the other side of the room.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Amelia Richardson, Dick’s daughter, walking toward me. She was in my freshman history class, quiet, mousy, didn’t say a lot. I hadn’t even known she was Dick’s daughter until he had told me. She sat in the front row in my class, in the seat I’d come to think of as Y/N’s seat, and spent most of her time blushing and scribbling in a notebook.

“Amelia. Hello,” I replied. “Are you here visiting your father?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Well, kind of. I work for him. He sent me down here to see if you were here. If you come with me, I’ll take you up to his office. He’s waiting for you.”

I followed Amelia to the elevator, watching as she hit the five button and the doors slid closed. She stepped back, standing much closer than necessary. I leaned against the elevator wall, trying and failing to move away from her, and watched the numbers flash from one to two, then two to three, and so on, the small cube filled with awkward silence.

“My dad says you’re going to work for him,” Amelia said, so quietly I could barely hear her. “In Venice?”

I wasn’t about to tell Amelia that I might change my mind, that I was considering waiting until the end of the school year, waiting until the girlfriend I couldn’t tell anyone about had graduated college. So instead I shrugged my shoulders. “He asked me to, yes.”

“I love Venice,” she smiled. “I spend a lot of time there, working for my father. We might get the chance to work together if you go. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

I was saved from answering by the elevator opening on a beautifully decorated office with plush furnishings. Dick Roman was seated behind a huge desk, on his phone. He waved, gesturing to the chairs in front of him. I crossed the room and took a seat, Amelia dropping into the chair beside me.

“Dean,” Dick said, smiling widely as he hung up the phone. “I certainly hope this visit is to tell me that you’ve decided to accept my job offer. Save me the expense of sending you overseas.” He chuckled drily. “Of course, Amelia wouldn’t be too happy about that.”

“I’m sorry?” I looked back and forth between Amelia and Dick, immediately noting the look they exchanged and not liking it.

“Amelia is going to be your personal escort while you’re in Venice,” Dick replied. “Show you around, help you get familiar with the city and the company. She’ll be available for anything you need. Isn’t that right, Amelia?”

Amelia was nodding before Dick even stopped talking. “Absolutely anything, Professor Winchester,” she added. “Anything.”

I cringed at her use of Professor Winchester, it just sounded wrong coming from her, nothing like it sounded coming out of Y/N’s mouth. “I had no idea -” I muttered.

“Amelia is quite...fond of you, Dean,” Dick chuckled. “I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to get to know each other better. After all, if you take the position, you’ll be spending a great deal of time together.”

I didn’t like the lecherous look on his face. “I think we need to discuss the job offer, Mr. Roman,” I said, sitting up straighter. “And you might not like what I have to say.”

* * *

The pacing had continued, around and around, back and forth, though you stopped every so often to check your phone. The sun went down and the sounds of the dorm increased, then slowly decreased as it got later and later. It was after ten and you knew you couldn’t wait any longer. Time to go.

You threw on a slightly ratty sweatshirt and grabbed your keys from the desk by your phone. You were searching for something warmer than the shorts you were wearing when there was a quiet knock at your door. You yanked it open, prepared to chase away whoever it was that had come to beg you for help with their homework.

Dean was leaning against your doorjamb, wearing a black leather jacket with a baseball cap pulled low on his head. He had his hands shoved in his pockets and he was hunched forward like he was trying to make himself smaller.

You looked up and down the hallway, praying none of your nosy neighbors would choose that moment to step out of their rooms. You grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, slamming the door behind him.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, pulling him further into the room. “Someone might see you.” When he didn’t respond you ran a hand through your hair and decided to tell him the truth. “I...I was just coming to see you. I wanted to apologize.”

“Looks like I’m going to beat you to it,” he said with a smile. “Sorry I didn’t call.”

“You didn’t need to take such a huge risk, coming to see me. If someone had seen you -,” you groused. “Well, that would have sucked.”

“I needed to see you and I was willing to take the chance,” Dean replied. “I can’t stand the way we left things. I’m sorry about earlier, the fight we had.”

“Me, too,” you sighed. “I’ll try to be more supportive, more understanding -”

“I’m not going to Venice,” he interrupted. “And I turned down the job offer.”

“You did?” you breathed. “Really?”

“Yeah, I did,” he smiled. He put his hand on your waist and pulled you close, nuzzling his cold nose against your cheek. “I couldn’t leave you. It’s not worth it. Nothing is worth that.”

You buried your face against his chest and wrapped your arms around him. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“No thanks necessary,” he laughed. “It was for purely selfish reasons. I can’t imagine being anywhere without you, Y/N. I can’t imagine being without you period. You’re stuck with me.”

“Well, I like being stuck with you,” you laughed. You looked up at him. “But seriously, thank you. I...I’m not sure what I would have done without you.”

Dean put a finger to your lips. “Shh,” he murmured. “We’re good, Y/N. You and me, right?” He glanced around the room, then he pulled you to the only seat in the tiny living room, a huge chair your parents had given you when you’d left for school. It was wide and deep and could easily fit two people. He sat down and pulled you into his lap. You snuggled against his chest, your arms wrapped around each other.

You sat like that for a long time, his heart beating under the palm of your hand and the sound of his breathing filling your ears. His fingers were running up and down your bare thigh, his lips pressed to the top of your head. He shifted in the chair, pulling you closer while at the same time laying you down across his lap. He leaned over you and kissed you, a brief brush of his lips across yours before he moved down your neck, nipping and licking at your throat. His fingers were digging into the muscles of your thigh, kneading it roughly.

You turned, trying to get closer to him, moving your upper body toward his, your legs falling open. He slid his hand beneath your shorts, tracing the edge of your underwear, his fingers just glancing over the lips of your sex. You sighed, pushing your hips closer to his hand, needing him to touch you. You felt him smile against your neck, the light scruff of the beard he was regrowing scratching at your sensitive skin. His lips on your throat distracted you from what his fingers were doing; you were so busy enjoying what he was doing with his mouth and tongue that you let out a startled gasp when his finger slid inside you, just to the second knuckle. He lightly rubbed your clit with his thumb, making you moan as he slowly caressed your inner walls.

His lips slid up your neck to your ear, pulling the lobe between his teeth, biting it gently just as his finger pushed all the way inside you, pumping in and out, in and out, before a second finger joined the first. You moaned, the sound nearly obscene.

“Mm, you’re such a good girl, Y/N,” Dean murmured in your ear. “You feel so good, so soft, so wet and ready for me.” Your hips rose just as he pushed his fingers deeper inside you, twisting them in a come hither gesture, pressing them right against your sweet spot, sending delicious sparks of heat prickling through you. “Are you gonna come for me, baby?” His fingers were deep inside you, his palm pressed against your clit as you ground yourself against his hand, writhing in ecstasy.

You were close, so close. All it took was his lips to your ear, his voice so deep, so thick with desire, that his whisper of “Come for me,” left you with no choice but to obey, your back bowing off the chair, your fingers digging into his arm as the orgasm thundered through you.

“Oh my God, Dean,” you keened, coming so hard you were sure you blacked out. But it wasn’t over, Dean’s hand kept moving, thrusting and pumping, pushing you harder and further, closer and closer to another climax, his lips moving over yours, kissing you, easily drawing yet another orgasm out of you.

When you finally started to come down, what seemed like an eternity later, Dean was still kissing you, still gently caressing you, murmuring softly. You pushed yourself to your feet and pulled impatiently at the buttons of Dean’s jeans.

“Whoa, Y/N, take it easy, slow down,” he laughed.

“No,” you gasped, shaking your head. “I need you, need to feel you inside me. There’s time for slow later.” You finally got his pants open and pulled down past his hips, then you kicked off your shorts and underwear. You straddled him, balanced yourself on his thighs and massaged his hard cock through his boxers, sliding it up and down the shaft, cupping his balls briefly before doing it again. His head fell back against the chair, a satisfied moan coming from him as you continued stroking him. You pulled him free of the tight cloth surrounding him, loving the feel of him in your hand, swiping your thumb across the tip, spreading the pre-come along his length. You closed your fist around him, jerking him off, watching him as he succumbed to the feelings coursing through him.

You slid up his thighs until you were hovering over him. He put his hands on your hips, guiding you as lowered yourself onto him with a quiet groan. You rocked forward, taking him completely inside you. You pushed his hat off of his head, wrapped your fingers in his hair and pulled him to you, catching his lips in a kiss.

It was quick, hot and unbelievably perfect. Dean’s fingers dug into your hips as he urged you to move, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his cheeks flushed with desire as he watched his cock slide in and out of your wet pussy. You were both panting as you rode him, harder and faster, taking him deeper and deeper inside of you until weren’t sure where he ended and you began.

Dean came with a loud gasp of your name, pulling you down onto him, his cock pulsing inside you. You collapsed against his chest, overcome not only by the amazing sex, but also by the undeniable feelings of love that seemed to rule every second of your life.

Dean wrapped his arms around you, his lips soft against your forehead as he kissed you. “What do you say we go in the bedroom, slow things down a little?” he murmured into your hair. You nodded, but before you could move, Dean scooped you into his arms and carried you into the bedroom and laid you gently on the bed. He stripped off his clothes and stretched out next to you, running his hand lightly up and down your side.

True to his word, Dean slowed things down, way down, bringing you to climax more times than you could count. When you finally fell asleep hours later, it was snuggled against the chest of the man you loved.

* * *

“Hey, grab my jeans will you?” Dean yelled from the bathroom.

You fished them out of the pile of clothes on the floor next to your bed, shaking them slightly as you picked them up. A flash of something shiny caught your eye from beneath the edge of your sweatshirt. You knelt on the floor, pushing clothes out of your way, trying to find whatever was on the floor.

Your fingers closed around a shiny gold and diamond ring. Gingerly, you picked it up, almost as if it was contaminated in some way, and brought it to eye level, staring at it.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled.

 


End file.
